My family are a messy bunch. I’m one of six, which is five too many if you’re asking me but whatever. Kidding, I’m not a psychopath, I love my family. I’m the second eldest which is a weird place to be. Not the first to try anything and not the last either. It did mean I was also at the prime age of fourteen when my dad announced he was in fact transgender. This was the nineties, I’d never even seen or heard about it before. I didn’t understand it, not at all.
I remember him turning up to pick me and my brother up from school, high school I might add in a dress. This was a 6ft2 man who hadn’t started hormones yet. It was very obviously a ‘man’ in a dress. School got pretty damn hard after that. I was so damn furious with him. I didn’t utter a single word to him for six months. At that time I just didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why my dad suddenly decided he was a woman. I know now that it wasn’t just a sudden decision and we’re good now. It’s still a little weird, not calling my ‘dad’ dad anymore but we’re alright.
My mom very rightly had a nervous breakdown over the whole thing and they’re divorced now but she’s happily married to a very nice guy who also has four kids (yeah, so that makes ten kids for family dinner on that side) and by all accounts if very content. My Susan (aka dad) is living out of state with a woman and they’re planning on getting married soon. I can’t wait, I know they’re going extravagant. She has one child and they’ve adopted two. I don’t see them a lot but we skype weekly.
My siblings are a mixed bag. Two of my brothers are in jail and will be for the foreseeable. They robbed a convenience store with a gun and the clerk was shot and killed. Neither of them actually pulled the trigger but they were there and so were charged (and rightfully I may add) with the crime as if they did. I get a lot of shit from the rest for saying that but you know what if they hadn’t agreed to go through with it then that man would still be alive. Don’t do the crime if you’re not willing to do the damn time. It’s safe to say I’m not the favourite sibling or child. The rest are relatively ‘normal’… well as normal as a family like ours can be.
I’ve made my own addition to the family and well he’s my life. Justice Derek
Van Alst Donovan. Honestly the timing wasn’t great and neither was the situation but I wouldn’t change him for the world. The boy is everything.
I have great taste in men… if I do say so myself. I mean I always seem to score attractive and successful men and what more could a girl possibly want? Shame they’re either damaged beyond repair or in a relationship with somebody else. I find the best guys just at totally the wrong time. I make bad love decisions.
The last guy I really, properly dated was Justice’s dad. He was a doctor at the hospital I work at and we bonded over the fact both our families are sort of insane. I didn’t set out to have an affair with him, I just really enjoyed his company and it just sort of happened… Obviously I felt bad. He had kids and a wife but he made me happy. I put my happiness above another person’s and that’s bad but to me it was worth it.
It ended when his wife walked in on us in their marital bed… it wasn’t pretty. Would it have ended if she hadn’t found out? I don’t know. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant and honestly, it was the best and worst moment of my life. Having a child with a married man I could never truly have wasn’t what I wanted but I made that mistake so I knew I had to deal with the consequences. Turned out to be the best decision of my life because my son is awesome. I wanted Jonah to be a part of his life, a big part, I even wanted to give him his family name but that was shut down pretty quickly. Instead of the name I get some money every month and I’m okay with that actually. I thought I’d be more upset about it and I was to start with but now I just kinda really enjoy the cash. Maybe I'm not as good of a person as I like to think I am. Justice is my boy and although Jonah tries as much as he can, he’s always going to be my boy. I do give Jonah shit all the time though for being absent… even though I don’t actually want to change that.
I’ve dated on and off since then but nothing has really stuck. I don’t know what I’m really doing and I’m scared of introducing anybody to Justice. So far nobody has been worthy of meeting my boy. Also I have a really bad habit of enjoying making people feel jealous. I'll flirt in front of the guy and basically just be dumb. I fuck it up, I just always fuck it up. My most successful relationship to date has been an affair, what does that say about me? I’m hopeful that I'll meet somebody though… preferably soon because I only have a few good ‘pretty’ years left and I don't want to waste them.
Work & Education:
I worked for every damn thing I have. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I had to work literally every minute of every day to get myself through college to get where I am. I didn’t enjoy a moment of school, especially after the Susan ‘man in a dress’ incident. Kids are mean man, they don’t want to be friends with the ‘weirdo’ kid so yeah, it was rough but I got through it, excelled really. I guess if you’re not really being all that sociable you have nothing left to do but work on your grades.
College was better. Suddenly nobody knew about that incident and even the couple of people that found out thought it was actually pretty cool. College is where all the liberals are man. Still, I spent a hell of a lot of time at work paying for the whole thing. Still, I had fun. College was a great experience for me. Honestly though, I think anything would’ve been better than school. That shit was hell. Anyway, I had a great experience and now I have the best job.
I’m a registered nurse currently so I’m educated and yeah I may not be thought of as highly as a doctor or whatever but I love my job. I’m in constant contact with patients, I oversee CNAs and LPNs and it’s really all I’ve ever wanted to be. I’m thinking about going back to school to become an Advanced Practice RN but we’ll see. I’ll probably wait until Justice is in high school. I don’t know, we’ll just have to wait and see I guess.